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[This version: 14 July 1994]
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'RED THREAD ZEN - THE TAO OF LOVE, PASSION, AND SEX'

This text addresses some of the most fundamental and delicate
religious issues. Therefore, it should be read, quoted and analysed in
a mindful way.

All copyrights to this document belong to Subhana Barzaghi Sensei,
Kuan-Yin Zen Center, NSW, Australia

Enquiries: The Editor, "Mind Moon Circle", Sydney Zen Centre, 251
Young St., Annandale, Sydney, NSW 2038, Australia. Tel: + 61 2 660
2993
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Red Thread Zen
The Tao of Love, Passion, and Sex

by Subhana Barzaghi

Day  4, Spring Sesshin 1993, Gorricks Run Zendo, NSW, Australia

Most of us have arrived at this particular point in our spiritual
journey with a little extra baggage about passion, love, and sex, and
I have noticed that many people on the spiritual path have a tendency
in the mind to create a polarisation or a separation between the
spiritual path and the sexual life.  There a number of ways in which
this polarisation and confusion is reinforced.  One of those ways is
that we continue to subscribe to a collective cultural belief and myth
perpetuated through Christianity, which is the predominant source of
myth in our culture, about the fall of Eve.  As you know, in the
story, Eve touched and ate of the forbidden fruit in the Garden of
Eden and gave it to Adam, a symbolic gesture.  Eve was portrayed as a
temptress, a seducer, and she has been held responsible for the fall
from heavenly grace; her sacred flesh has been falsely blamed for the
evils of mankind for generations.

This belief system is entrenched and deep-seated and runs through our
whole society, even today.  It is reflected in our present myths
around sexual abuse and assault.  In my work as a therapist in that
field I noticed about ninety per cent of victimsprimarily women
would often come away from an assault feeling that they were to blame.
Its the only crime in our society where the victim walks away feeling
like somehow they did something wrong, that they are to blame.  They
would often say things like, If only I hadnt stayed back at that
party, If only I hadnt walked down that street, If only I hadnt
worn that particular dress, If only I hadnt got in the car and
taken a lift home with that person, then maybe it wouldnt have
happened.  We also hear offenders saying, She deserved it, She led
me on, She asked for it, She encouraged me.  In some ways women
are still carrying the collective blame for abuse and sexual assault
in our society.  All of us are still redeeming the body of Eve, even
today: I see an enormous amount of that in therapy.

Another factor that contributes to the disconnectedness of
spirituality and sexuality is the notion of a body/mind/spirit split.
It is as if this kind of thinking, this compartmentalising of life, in
some way perpetuates the notion that the body and the passions of the
flesh belong to the lower realms, and the flesh needs to be
transcended to realise the spirit.  This kind of thinking is very
dualistic and hierarchical in nature.  The orthodox religious mind has
separated the physical from the spiritual, the sensual from the soul.
Rejection of the body became a common article of faith among the
worlds religions, and orthodox religion has never managed to enjoy
the innocence and delight of physical beauty and sensuality.  Even in
our own Zen history there is the story of a nun who was a very
beautiful woman, stunningly beautiful, and who went to the monastery
to become a nun, and who was rejected.  She went three times and she
was rejected each time, because, they told her, she was too beautiful,
she would corrupt the monks.  The tragic story is that she was so
intent on being a nun that she took a hot iron and put it to her face,
scarred her face, just so that she could enter the nunnery.

This repressed rejection of physical beauty and attraction by orthodox
religious authorities has contributed to religions obsession with
celibacy and its condemnation of enjoying and beautifying the body.
Not so long ago, Christian monks would have to make confession to the
priest about masturbation.  It was considered a sinful act to
experience the normality of sexual arousal in the body.  The flesh had
to be subdued and conquered.  We can laugh about that now, but its
not so long ago in our history.

At the other end of the spectrum from the religious orthodox attitude
is our Western consumer cultures attitude to the flesh and the body,
which has made a devotional practice of adorning the body.  On the
market we have endless products available for every single region of
the body, from the hair, to the skin, to the lips, to the breasts, to
the genitals, to the toenails.  The human body from head to toe has
become an instrument of profit, a multibillion dollar industry.

From these two extremes we are not modelled very healthy ways of
relating to the physical, sensual nature of the body.  On one side,
the religious view of transcending the flesh and treating it as
sinful, and on the other side the endless adoring of the body, fussing
over its appearances in order to prolong life, which denies the
natural ageing process.  One of my teachers, Christopher Titmuss, who
is of the Red Thread school, said, Religion has been unwilling to see
the sensual forces and the spirit as interconnected.  Those who are
obsessed with preserving their looks and sexual attraction cannot see
past their breasts and genitals, while others cannot see the
relationship between their genitals and spirituality.  Both miss a
marriage of the flesh and spirit.

Many years agomaybe not that many years agoI certainly engaged in
wild and promiscuous sexual behaviour myself, that caused havoc with
my relationships and caused immense suffering to me and to others.  I
suffer deep remorse and regret for what was clearly a breaking of the
third precept, concerning sexual misconduct.  In reaction, in a way,
to that part of the wild woman in me and in an attempt to make sure
that conduct never happened again, I decided to install a kind of
policewoman in my psyche.  A bit like Hannya: in Japanese temples they
have wonderful little demons in the corner, with a sword, little
fierce demons called Hannya.  So I decided to adopt one of those in my
psyche, and my policewoman was available at any moment to cut down
that sexual desire or fantasy the moment it arose.  No, you are not
going to think about that!  Phoom!  This went on for some time;
while, as I said, I suffered deep guilt and remorse.

This path eventually culminated in my taking of the robes in Sri
Lanka, and ordaining as a Buddhist nun.  I had really long hair then,
longer than it is now, and I went from long hair to no hair at all.  A
Swiss nun had the wonderful opportunity of shaving my head.  I thought
in some way shaving my head was maybe shaving off some of my vanity.
But after I shaved my head it was the most exhilarating experience.  I
dont know if some of you have had that experience, but the head is so
sensitive when it hasnt got any hair on it, that it was like standing
under a shower where you could feel every little drop, every little
drop.  So I was walking around with a smile, a grin, from ear to ear
for days and days.  This was a very joyous time and an incredibly
sensual experiencelike being born again.  So I couldnt even escape
that way.  I thought I was going to be a nun; I thought I was going to
escape having to deal with all that sensuality stuff; and shaving my
head ended up being one of the most sensual experiences.

My policewoman served me well for about ten years.  But that too had
devastating effects.  In some way it was like cutting off a deep part
of myself.  The shadow comes back in the form of erotic fantasies,
attractions, romantic projections, that haunt us until we understand
that there is something very deep there that needs our attention.  For
many of us our sexual vitality is a mysterious life-force which seems
to operate under its own laws.  Vows of celibacy do not subdue our
sexual energies, nor are they contained in the holy vows of matrimony.
Sexual feelings have a way of asserting themselves even in the most
pious minds, even in the most unlikely circumstances or
situationseven here in sesshin people have wonderful fantasies.  If
we do not integrate the mind, body, flesh, and spirit, the spiritual
will always struggle with the physical, one attempting to claim
sovereignty over the other, and life becomes a struggle and effort to
conquer the passions in the name of the sacred.  We do agree to be
celibate here in sesshin, but the purpose of that is not to suppress
sexual feelings or desires but simply to provide an opportunity for us
to be completely alone, and experience other expressions of deep
intimacy with this undivided nature.

Our own lay practice has its roots in the monastic tradition and
lineage of monks and nuns who take vows of celibacy, which does not
really speak to us or help us deal with the intensity of love,
passion, and desire.  But the intensity is there, and it rises up.  It
does not help us deal with that energy in our daily lives.  In the 17
000 koans in our curriculumsome of you are looking a little amazed at
that!there are three of four koans relating to sexuality.  It barely
gets a mention.  Yet love and sex and passion are so potent energies
that really have a huge impact on our lives.  I know that I have spent
many years at retreats and I dont think I have ever met a teacher, up
until recently, who would open their mouth about sex and love and
passion, particularly in a retreat.

So what is the Tao of love, passion, and sex?  A few koans or stories
at least give us some direction or insight into the sensual nature of
the Tao.  Unfortunately these three koans get repeated every time
someone gives a talk about this. . . .  Anyway, one of the
miscellaneous koans is, Why are perfectly enlightened bodhisattvas
attached to the vermilion thread?  The vermilion thread is the red
thread, and the red thread is symbolic: I have recently learned that
it is not the line of tears , as I used to think, but it comes from
early China, where the geisha girls and courtesans would wear a red
garter on their thigh, as the line of passions.  So: Why are
perfectly enlightened bodhisattvas attached to the vermilion thread?
One of the characters I want to introduce you to is a wonderful
character in the Zen tradition, called Ikkyu, who is one of my
longstanding and favourite Zen masters and who appeals, I guess, to
the wild woman in me.  He was born in 1394 and was an illegitimate son
of the emperor Go-komatsu.  He was known by some as the emperor of
renegades, a wild wandering monk and teacher, sometimes called Crazy
Cloud.  He was a lover, a poet, and he could write very tenderly about
the beauty of women.  He relentlessly attacked the hypocrisy of the
then corrupt Zen establishment, and even had women as his students.  I
think he was one of the first Zen masters to have women as students;
that was considered quite radical.  It was in the brothels and geisha
houses that he developed the Red Thread Zen, a notion he borrowed from
the old Chinese master Kido and extended to deep and subtle levels of
realisation.  This very body is the lotus of the true law.  This very
body is the lotus of the true law, linking human beings to birth and
death by the red thread of passion.  This approach was closely related
to Tantric Buddhism, that used sexual union as a religious ritual.
Ikkyus Red Thread form of Zen practice was a radical approach, a
non-dualistic interpretation of the sexual act, realising this very
body is the Buddha-dharma.  Ikkyu wrote a poem after his first
realisation experience:

From the world of passions returning to the world of passions:
There is a moments pause.
If it rains, let it rain; if the wind blows, let it blow.

Ikkyus Red Thread Zen and wild, poetic, passionate nature was also
tempered, though, by his extensive training in the Rinzai school, very
intense training.  Rinzai was a very strict master, and Ikkyu was very
strict and demanding with his own students.

At the age of 77, Ikkyu had a passionate relationship with a mistress
named Lady Shin.  She was a blind singer and composer and a very
skilled musician, and she was in her late thirties.  He wrote lots of
beautiful graphic poetry celebrating their love, and it was in Lady
Shin that Ikkyu finally located his own missing female self.  As
Manfred Steger commented in his book Crazy Clouds, Ikkyu incorporated
bold elements of the physical relationship into his teaching of Zen,
playing on koans in an erotic context, and bound the manifest and
essential worlds in a love-knot.  His radical methods and practices
honoured women and the red thread that binds even the most enlightened
Zen masters to passion, birth, and death.  Ikkyu celebrated the joy in
human love, and within sexuality there lies a profound sacred
practice, similar to Tantric Buddhism.  He infused Zen for the first
time with a feminine element that had long been missing.  When Ikkyu
was about 80 years old that he was asked to be the abbot of Daitokoji,
which is one the great temples in Japan.  At that time it was
completely in ruin from a civil war, so it was an extraordinary thing
to do at 80 years old, to rebuild Daitokoji: which he did.  He had an
extraordinary enlightened mind.

Another great character and master is Chao-chou, and he has some
comments about the passions.  After master Chao-chou visited Mount
Wu-tai, his teaching spread widely in north China.  He was invited to
stay at the Kuan Yin monastery in his own native town of Chao-chou.
He came to the assembly and said, It is as if a transparent crystal
were held in ones hand.  When a foreigner approaches it, it mirrors
him as such; when a native Chinese approaches it, it mirrors him as
such.  I take a stalk of grass and let it act as a golden-bodied one,
sixteen feet high, and I take a golden-bodied one, sixteen feet high
and let it act as a stalk of grass.  Buddhahood is passion, and
passion is Buddhahood.

During his sermon a monk asked him, In whom does Buddha cause
passion?  Chao-chou said, Buddha causes passion in all of us.

The monk asked, How do we get rid of it?

Chao-chou said, Why should we get rid of it?

Its not some great enlightenment verse, but it seems at least to
point some of the way in our daily lives.

Another story that Aitken Roshi has told a number of times, a more
classical story, also points at and disapproves of puritanical
religious attitudes to sex.  In ancient days an old woman made
offering to a hermit over a period of twenty years, and one day she
sent her sixteen-year-old niece to take food to the hermit, telling
her to make advances to him and to see what he would do.  So the girl
lay her head on the hermits lap and said, How is this?

The hermit said, The withered tree is rooted in an ancient rock in
bitter cold during winter months; there is no warmth, no life.

The girl reported this to her aunt, and the old woman said, That
vulgarian!  How outrageous!  To think that I have made offerings to
him for twenty years!

So she drove the hermit away and burnt down his cottage.  As Aitken
Roshi said in his commentary on the third precept, of sexual
misconduct, While we may question the use of the niece as bait to
test the monks realisation, it is clear that the aunt fundamentally
disapproves.  The monk was not responding to the human being who lay
down there on his lap.  He was using her to express his own ascetic
position.  The fire is a dream symbol of sex: You dont belong here!
Sex belongs here!or at least some acknowledgment of it.  So: what
would your response be?

I wish to emphasise that not cutting off the passions is not a
suggestion to violate the third precept.  It is not a matter of sexual
misconduct.  There is a translation of the third precept by Thich Naht
Hanh which I think is particularly beautiful.  Aware of the suffering
caused by sexual misconduct, I vow to cultivate responsibility and
learn ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals,
couples, family, and society.  I am determined not to engage in sexual
relations without love and long-term commitment.  To preserve the
happiness of myself and others, I am determined to respect my
commitments and the commitments of others.  I will do everything in my
power to protect children from sexual abuse and to protect couples and
families from being broken by sexual misconduct.

Not cutting off the passions, for me now, after having gone from one
extreme to the other, is more like walking a fine line of integrity.
When we deepen in our spiritual practice, our hearts become more and
more open.  We have such rich and deep connections with people, with
one another, truly deep loving intimacy.  So how to keep that door
open, how to keep that heartfelt life there, but not be seduced by the
power and attraction of that intimacy?Because it is in that deep
intimacy, of course, that sexual attraction and energy can arise and
emerge.  So how to maintain an integrity in that intimacy, and be true
to our feelings of love for one another, and not fall into that well
of sexual misconduct?  My own job as a therapist and teacher, of
course, is to create deep connections of intimacy, and that does
happen with many people, and it is certainly wonderful and rich.
Wonderful connections with people are possible in that situation.  But
I have many boundaries and ethics that I apply in those situations,
particularly through my psychotherapy training.  There are very strict
ethics around that relationship.  You never engage in sexual
relationships with any client; even six months after you terminate
with a client, this is not OK.  But while I can keep those strict
boundaries and ethics there, when I am in those roles, outside of
those roles it is more difficult for me.  Then the heart is wide open;
where then are the boundaries?  I know my shadow is that I fall in
love all the time, with lots of people.

Whatever emerges from our lives has its roots in Buddha-nature.  So
let us gassh and be grateful for our sexuality, the creative energies
that it releases to our receptive heart and mind.  We do not need to
block our sexual energies, nor do we need to be a slave to them.
Sexual energy in a loving committed relationship with its fusion of
love, play, magic, ecstasy, is life celebrating life.  This respectful
communion of the sexual act may reveal the divine mystery rather than
just simply be pleasurable, entertaining sensations.  What makes the
difference is our intentions, our love, our faith, and the attitudes
that we bring to this experience.  If we hold a reverence for life, an
awareness of our interconnectedness and oneness, and we experience the
other as none other than our very selves, the shared joy of lovemaking
is a spiritual meeting of the flesh and spirit.  The boundaries of a
separate self can fall away and life is making love with life.  The
Buddha-tao is to be discovered in our daily lives, the sacred is to be
found in the ordinary, and the ordinary in the sacred.  Christopher
Titmuss was great on one-liners, and he said, The bedroom becomes a
temple of joy, and the sacred truth can be found equally between the
bedsheets as in the holy books.  (I told you he was from the Red
Thread school.)

There is a koan that I would like to finish with by Rainer Maria Rilke,
just a short line out of a long poem, quoted in the book called The
Enlightened Heart:

Isnt the secret intent
of this great Earth, when it forces lovers together,
that inside their boundless emotion all things may shudder with joy?

May all beings venerate life as a state of deep spiritual intimacy.
Here in the fields: just those young green fronds making their way out
of the earth.  This is so sensual and beautiful; this is the great
sensual nature all around us.  Please enjoy it!

(A Teisho given at the Spring Sesshin 1993, Gorricks Run Zendo)

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